Friday, December 5, 2008
We're Pregnant! Yippy!
Hard to believe but true! We are pregnant! I have to say 'we'.. I guess because I'm going through the actual body changing pregnancy and Michael is going through my emotional ups and downs. Which include my outbursts of anger and tears during the movie ELF. <- Don't ask! It took 5 pregnancy tests to make me actually believe that they were actually positive... this is after having one year of past negative pregnancy tests. Well, after going to a doctor's office.. it was confirmed that we are 5 weeks 4 days. I have to say that Thanksgiving this year is the most memorable and special for me. Michael is excited but a little nervous at the same time. He doesn't want anyone to forget Lilly. I know that I'll never forget Lilly. She isn't forgettable or replacable.
I'm definately feeling some symptoms.. SLEEPY!!! Last night I woke up 3 times to use the bathroom. If its that bad now I can't imagine how many times I'll be waking up at 6 months. Ugh.. but at least I'm not sick.. yet.. *knock on wood*
There is one thing that is upsetting. Michael's Grandmother passed away November 30th. I regret not getting to know her better and visiting her more like she wanted me and Michael to. I really wish that she would have been able to meet her new Great Grandchild but I'm sure that she will see him/her from Heaven. Tomorrow we will be having a visitation, memorial, and graveside. :*(
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Letter to Lilly
Dear Lilly,
I miss you so much! Daddy misses you also. I can't believe it has almost been three years since you were born. Today, your little brother Dylan and I went to Tassels and bought a beautiful stone planter to put behind your gravestone. I can't wait to fill it with a beautiful spring flower arrangement. When I think of you, I think of all things beautiful.
Kristen Etheridge, a friend of your Aunt Kristen, had to give a presentation about abortion in one of her classes. She could not help but speak about you. Here is the message she sent me..
"Elizabeth,
I hope you, Michael, and Dylan are doing good! I just wanted to let you know I had to do a group project about abortions in different religions in a class, and I told your story about Lilly. I wasn't planning on it but the subject of medical abortions came up during the discussion. I explained how a lot of the doctors at BSOM encouraged you to have an abortion but you didn't. Then told everyone how you and Michael spent 6 precious hours with Lilly that you wouldn't trade for anything. The professor asked me today if I would ask you if he could use your story in one of his other classes. I told him I would ask you.
Kristen"
This is God encouraging me through friends. Lilly, you are such a wonderful inspiration. And of course my answer to her teacher was 'yes'. I want everyone to know all about how wonderful you are! After I thanked Kristen for telling her class about you, she sent me this message which is such a great encouragment..
"You are welcome! I think it's amazing that you gave her the gift of life! You are an amazing woman!" - Kristen Etheridge
God has put so many great people in my life! I wish you could have met your brother, Dylan. He is such a sweet baby. He has two teeth now and he does this fake smile that makes me laugh so hard I cry. :) Because of you, I cherish every moment I have with the ones I love. Baby girl, I love and I miss you so much. I can't wait to tell Dylan all about his older sister.
Love,
Mommy
I miss you so much! Daddy misses you also. I can't believe it has almost been three years since you were born. Today, your little brother Dylan and I went to Tassels and bought a beautiful stone planter to put behind your gravestone. I can't wait to fill it with a beautiful spring flower arrangement. When I think of you, I think of all things beautiful.
Kristen Etheridge, a friend of your Aunt Kristen, had to give a presentation about abortion in one of her classes. She could not help but speak about you. Here is the message she sent me..
"Elizabeth,
I hope you, Michael, and Dylan are doing good! I just wanted to let you know I had to do a group project about abortions in different religions in a class, and I told your story about Lilly. I wasn't planning on it but the subject of medical abortions came up during the discussion. I explained how a lot of the doctors at BSOM encouraged you to have an abortion but you didn't. Then told everyone how you and Michael spent 6 precious hours with Lilly that you wouldn't trade for anything. The professor asked me today if I would ask you if he could use your story in one of his other classes. I told him I would ask you.
Kristen"
This is God encouraging me through friends. Lilly, you are such a wonderful inspiration. And of course my answer to her teacher was 'yes'. I want everyone to know all about how wonderful you are! After I thanked Kristen for telling her class about you, she sent me this message which is such a great encouragment..
"You are welcome! I think it's amazing that you gave her the gift of life! You are an amazing woman!" - Kristen Etheridge
God has put so many great people in my life! I wish you could have met your brother, Dylan. He is such a sweet baby. He has two teeth now and he does this fake smile that makes me laugh so hard I cry. :) Because of you, I cherish every moment I have with the ones I love. Baby girl, I love and I miss you so much. I can't wait to tell Dylan all about his older sister.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
MTV's 16 and Pregnant
Okay, so I was reading some comments about Jenelle, a mother on MTV's series 16 and Pregnant who is too immature to have a baby. It's not my place to judge her or the decisions she has made in her life. People need to understand there is not a choice when it comes to an unborn life. What I don't understand is why it is so hard for people to grasp that concept.
People who made comments like, "That baby should have been aborted" really need to wake up and smell the coffee. I remember when I didn't think much about the abortion issue but when I buried my daughter, God opened my eyes to the issue full force.
Jenelle's baby is a wonderful blessing and it's terrible that she isn't accepting of her precious gift. From watching the show and hearing Jenelle's mother yell, "Well, if you aren't going to take care of IT, then we need to find IT a home.", this baby certainly deserves a better family. It's really sad. I can't stress this anymore then I already have.. A BABY IS NOT A IT!!!
Have you actually seen an abortion being performed? Have you seen a baby being aborted through ultrasound? No matter what form of abortion is being performed the BABY is in pain and the heartrate rises because of the babies fear. Have you ever heard of Post-Abortion Syndrome? This is the emotional and psychological consequences of an abortion. Also known as depression.
Learn the fact before you go through with an abortion. Here are some website that will be helpful with your research:
www.abort73.com
http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/tul/pap1.html
Also, YouTube is great!
People who made comments like, "That baby should have been aborted" really need to wake up and smell the coffee. I remember when I didn't think much about the abortion issue but when I buried my daughter, God opened my eyes to the issue full force.
Jenelle's baby is a wonderful blessing and it's terrible that she isn't accepting of her precious gift. From watching the show and hearing Jenelle's mother yell, "Well, if you aren't going to take care of IT, then we need to find IT a home.", this baby certainly deserves a better family. It's really sad. I can't stress this anymore then I already have.. A BABY IS NOT A IT!!!
Have you actually seen an abortion being performed? Have you seen a baby being aborted through ultrasound? No matter what form of abortion is being performed the BABY is in pain and the heartrate rises because of the babies fear. Have you ever heard of Post-Abortion Syndrome? This is the emotional and psychological consequences of an abortion. Also known as depression.
Learn the fact before you go through with an abortion. Here are some website that will be helpful with your research:
www.abort73.com
http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/tul/pap1.html
Also, YouTube is great!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Oh.. the Aggravation with Myself
As you probably all have realized.. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up! DO I want to be a nurse? Medical Sonographer? Medical Lab Tech? Jewelry Maker? Crafter? Store Owner? Mary Kay Saleswomen? And unfortunately my list of possible careers goes on and on and.. on. I hate being a 'wishy washy' person! I wish I was the type of person who just goes with it and completes it. What is wrong with me?
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
And then there is HOPE!
As for my parents.. they are doing a lot better! I knew they would get through this but I still had a fear of divorce or separation. I think every child has that fear when their parents have arguments. It's sad that children have that fear but this is how the world works now a days!
I want to thank everyone who has kept my family in your prayers. It really means a lot! It's hard now that Sarah is in Michigan. :( Talking to her on the phone isn't the same as in person. {{I think I just hate talking on the phone}} So this is why I blog! :)
God Bless!
I want to thank everyone who has kept my family in your prayers. It really means a lot! It's hard now that Sarah is in Michigan. :( Talking to her on the phone isn't the same as in person. {{I think I just hate talking on the phone}} So this is why I blog! :)
God Bless!
A Women of Character! <-- I want to be!
I have devoted my time between 6am and 8am to bible study. My bible study consists of...
1. watching a sermon at www.newspring.org {{Which by the way the sermons are AWESOME}}
2. Taking my notes and writing the bible verses down.
3. Studying the bible verses
Today I watched week 2 of the series 'Beautiful'. WONDERFUL sermon! I never realized that the way I talk to my husband and about my husband has really effected our relationship. Pastor Perry spoke about 'The words we speak are a reflection of our hearts.' It's so true. I am constantly using my words to tear Michael down instead of bring him up.
WORDS!!!
Proverbs 12:4
"Agood wife is like a crown for her husband but a disgraceful wife is like a disease in his bones."
Proverbs 26:20
"Without wood, a fire will go out, and without gossip, quarreling with stop." <-- This verse really made me realize that everytime I speak negatively about Michael, it keeps my negative feeling alive. That is why forgiveness is the only way to settle disputes.
INTENTIONS!!!
"It doesn't always have to be about you!" Very hard quote for me to grasp. :(
Proverbs 5:18-19
"Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She gives you joy, as your fountain give you water. She is lovely and graceful as a deer. Let her love always and make you happy; let her love always hold you captive."
FORGIVENESS!!
Forgive and forget! Satan brings up old bad memories to make you hate or to harm your relationship with you husband or wife. I know, Satan hates marriage and he will do everything in his power to kill, steal, and destroy.
Colossians 3:13
"Bear with each other, and forgive eah other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because God forgave you."
EXPECTATIONS!!!
How can you pray over all your husband's faults and sins when you haven't and wont even pray for your own?!
Proverbs 19:13
"A foolish child brings disaster to a father, and a quarreling wife is like dripping water."
Proverbs 21:9
"It is better tolive in a corner on the roof than inside the house with a quarreling wife."
Proverbs 21:19
"It is better to live alone in the desert than with a quarreling and complaining wife."
WOW! I never realized how bad it really is to live with someone like that! All I know is I don't want to be that kind of wife. I want to be a Wife of Character. I want my beauty to show not only from the outside but inside as well.
1. watching a sermon at www.newspring.org {{Which by the way the sermons are AWESOME}}
2. Taking my notes and writing the bible verses down.
3. Studying the bible verses
Today I watched week 2 of the series 'Beautiful'. WONDERFUL sermon! I never realized that the way I talk to my husband and about my husband has really effected our relationship. Pastor Perry spoke about 'The words we speak are a reflection of our hearts.' It's so true. I am constantly using my words to tear Michael down instead of bring him up.
WORDS!!!
Proverbs 12:4
"Agood wife is like a crown for her husband but a disgraceful wife is like a disease in his bones."
Proverbs 26:20
"Without wood, a fire will go out, and without gossip, quarreling with stop." <-- This verse really made me realize that everytime I speak negatively about Michael, it keeps my negative feeling alive. That is why forgiveness is the only way to settle disputes.
INTENTIONS!!!
"It doesn't always have to be about you!" Very hard quote for me to grasp. :(
Proverbs 5:18-19
"Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She gives you joy, as your fountain give you water. She is lovely and graceful as a deer. Let her love always and make you happy; let her love always hold you captive."
FORGIVENESS!!
Forgive and forget! Satan brings up old bad memories to make you hate or to harm your relationship with you husband or wife. I know, Satan hates marriage and he will do everything in his power to kill, steal, and destroy.
Colossians 3:13
"Bear with each other, and forgive eah other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because God forgave you."
EXPECTATIONS!!!
How can you pray over all your husband's faults and sins when you haven't and wont even pray for your own?!
Proverbs 19:13
"A foolish child brings disaster to a father, and a quarreling wife is like dripping water."
Proverbs 21:9
"It is better tolive in a corner on the roof than inside the house with a quarreling wife."
Proverbs 21:19
"It is better to live alone in the desert than with a quarreling and complaining wife."
WOW! I never realized how bad it really is to live with someone like that! All I know is I don't want to be that kind of wife. I want to be a Wife of Character. I want my beauty to show not only from the outside but inside as well.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Finding Light
Finding Light
By: Elizabeth Knox
“Loss leaves us empty- but learn not to close your heart and mind in grief. Allow life to replenish you. When sorrow comes, it seems impossible- but new joys wait to fill the void.” -Pat Brown I believe that everything happens for a reason. Before the death of my daughter, I believed that nothing bad or tragic, would or could ever happen to me. Never again will I ever think that. Death, grief, tragedy, and despair are happening to people everyday, we need to find the spiritual reason to see the light through the long dark tunnel.
In the beginning, my grief started months before the death of my daughter. After many ultrasounds and Specialist visits, I was told that my daughter, Lilly, had a rare chromosome disorder called Trisomy 18. The Specialist explained that Lilly was incompatible for life and that she would be born too early or that she would be stillborn. For months, even though my heart was hurt and my eyes were filled with tears, I cherished every little kick with great comfort in knowing that she was alive. It was almost like her little way of telling me “Mommy, don’t cry! I’m still here!”. I would pray every night, “Lord, I don’t know your plan for Lilly’s life but I pray that me and my family will be able to hold her alive and that she will be born to term”. I put all my faith in God, that my prayers would be answered.
In six hours I had the best day of my life with the birth of my daughter and I also had the worst day of my life with the death of my daughter. On October 26, 2007 at 10:40 pm, my daughter Lilly was born to term and alive. Looking in Lilly’s eyes, I felt how much she loved me and how much I loved her. After giving birth, the instant connection and love between a mother and her baby is so strong, so true, and so pure. To have that love taken from you is devastating. Lilly passed away on October 27, 2007 at 4:40am. The grief that I felt after losing Lilly was so overwhelming that I was blinded by devastation. I felt so angry, betrayed, as though my world had completely been ripped apart. All the dreams and the things I wanted to do with my daughter, like braid her hair, comfort her and hold her when she didn’t feel good, give her kisses and pray with her before she went to sleep, were ripped away from me like they had no meaning. My daughter’s death made me realize so many things and it completely changed my prospective on life and death.
“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.” -Anon How precious life is when its cut short and how precious time is when there isn’t enough. Through my experience I have found and been blessed with a great ministry to speak to others. A ministry that has helped others find their way through their very tough and tragic experience. Believing now that life is what you make it, I live my life treating others like they have just been through my experience, cherishing every moment with the people that are still with me, and handing every situation that comes in my life to God. I believe also that death is what you make it. Death, no matter how tragic, is beautiful and the beginning of life, life with no more death or destruction.
Through the tragedy of losing my daughter, I have found new life. A life filled with love and care for the loved ones still here with me, treating other’s lives as precious as my own, and cherishing every moment as if it could be the last. This prospective has helped me on my journey of grief in finding the light.
By: Elizabeth Knox
“Loss leaves us empty- but learn not to close your heart and mind in grief. Allow life to replenish you. When sorrow comes, it seems impossible- but new joys wait to fill the void.” -Pat Brown I believe that everything happens for a reason. Before the death of my daughter, I believed that nothing bad or tragic, would or could ever happen to me. Never again will I ever think that. Death, grief, tragedy, and despair are happening to people everyday, we need to find the spiritual reason to see the light through the long dark tunnel.
In the beginning, my grief started months before the death of my daughter. After many ultrasounds and Specialist visits, I was told that my daughter, Lilly, had a rare chromosome disorder called Trisomy 18. The Specialist explained that Lilly was incompatible for life and that she would be born too early or that she would be stillborn. For months, even though my heart was hurt and my eyes were filled with tears, I cherished every little kick with great comfort in knowing that she was alive. It was almost like her little way of telling me “Mommy, don’t cry! I’m still here!”. I would pray every night, “Lord, I don’t know your plan for Lilly’s life but I pray that me and my family will be able to hold her alive and that she will be born to term”. I put all my faith in God, that my prayers would be answered.
In six hours I had the best day of my life with the birth of my daughter and I also had the worst day of my life with the death of my daughter. On October 26, 2007 at 10:40 pm, my daughter Lilly was born to term and alive. Looking in Lilly’s eyes, I felt how much she loved me and how much I loved her. After giving birth, the instant connection and love between a mother and her baby is so strong, so true, and so pure. To have that love taken from you is devastating. Lilly passed away on October 27, 2007 at 4:40am. The grief that I felt after losing Lilly was so overwhelming that I was blinded by devastation. I felt so angry, betrayed, as though my world had completely been ripped apart. All the dreams and the things I wanted to do with my daughter, like braid her hair, comfort her and hold her when she didn’t feel good, give her kisses and pray with her before she went to sleep, were ripped away from me like they had no meaning. My daughter’s death made me realize so many things and it completely changed my prospective on life and death.
“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.” -Anon How precious life is when its cut short and how precious time is when there isn’t enough. Through my experience I have found and been blessed with a great ministry to speak to others. A ministry that has helped others find their way through their very tough and tragic experience. Believing now that life is what you make it, I live my life treating others like they have just been through my experience, cherishing every moment with the people that are still with me, and handing every situation that comes in my life to God. I believe also that death is what you make it. Death, no matter how tragic, is beautiful and the beginning of life, life with no more death or destruction.
Through the tragedy of losing my daughter, I have found new life. A life filled with love and care for the loved ones still here with me, treating other’s lives as precious as my own, and cherishing every moment as if it could be the last. This prospective has helped me on my journey of grief in finding the light.
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