I'm speechless!

Okay so I'm in shock! For Christmas this year I got a kindle, a Northface Jacket, Guy Harvey shirts, and two positive pregnancy tests. Yes.. baby #3 is on the way! At first I was a little sad (and this makes me feel bad) because I had this pregnancy planned out. I was going to get into the LPN Program, graduate, get a great job, possible sell our house, and then have another baby. I guess God had another plan. I admit, and I don't want anyone to get upset with me because I'm upset with myself, I cried when I found out and few days after.

Even though I had a healthy baby after Lilly, I still can't help being a little apprehensive and scared about this pregnancy. My first doctors appointment was Thursday January 6 and it went well. Oh course I was offered Genetic testing again. I guess once high risk always high risk. And again I refused all genetic testing except ultrasounds. Whether this baby is healthy or not, this is my child and a precious gift. No genetic testing will truely prepare you to leave the hospital with empty arms.

After my appointment, I felt a little down. I am not sad about being pregnant, I am sad about possibly having to put off school another year. I refuse to be sad about being pregnant because just like Lilly and Dylan, this baby deserves my happiness and excitment.

Michael and I have already picked out names! Girl: Faith Elizabeth Knox and Boy: Tanner John Knox

Faith Elizabeth is the name I picked out and I have been praying over since Lilly passed away. Her name means Trust consecrated to God. I believe it has taken my faith in God to get me through so much in the past 4 years and her name is dedicated to that faith and struggle.

Can you tell by now that I'm hoping for a girl? :)

Happy Easter Lilly

Happy Easter, Lilly!
I know you had a wonderful Easter Day celebrating with Jesus.. Singing beautifully before the Lord. We had a wonderful Easter! Aunt Sarah and Uncle John came home from Michigan to visit for four days. They came in on Thursday and spent the whole day with us. Saturday, I volunteered for the church Easter egg hunt. Daddy and Dylan had so much fun. Dylan made two new friends that day. He is getting so big! Did I tell you he has two teeth now?

Sunday at church, Dylan was Dedicated. It was a wonderful ceremony! Daddy and I found a new church and we are very proud we had Dylan dedicated there.

We miss you very much and love you more than you know!

Love,
Mommy

Here are the pictures of your brother in his new Easter outfit..

Letter to Lilly

Dear Lilly,

I miss you so much! Daddy misses you also. I can't believe it has almost been three years since you were born. Today, your little brother Dylan and I went to Tassels and bought a beautiful stone planter to put behind your gravestone. I can't wait to fill it with a beautiful spring flower arrangement. When I think of you, I think of all things beautiful.

Kristen Etheridge, a friend of your Aunt Kristen, had to give a presentation about abortion in one of her classes. She could not help but speak about you. Here is the message she sent me..

"Elizabeth,
I hope you, Michael, and Dylan are doing good! I just wanted to let you know I had to do a group project about abortions in different religions in a class, and I told your story about Lilly. I wasn't planning on it but the subject of medical abortions came up during the discussion. I explained how a lot of the doctors at BSOM encouraged you to have an abortion but you didn't. Then told everyone how you and Michael spent 6 precious hours with Lilly that you wouldn't trade for anything. The professor asked me today if I would ask you if he could use your story in one of his other classes. I told him I would ask you.

Kristen"

This is God encouraging me through friends. Lilly, you are such a wonderful inspiration. And of course my answer to her teacher was 'yes'. I want everyone to know all about how wonderful you are! After I thanked Kristen for telling her class about you, she sent me this message which is such a great encouragment..

"You are welcome! I think it's amazing that you gave her the gift of life! You are an amazing woman!" - Kristen Etheridge

God has put so many great people in my life! I wish you could have met your brother, Dylan. He is such a sweet baby. He has two teeth now and he does this fake smile that makes me laugh so hard I cry. :) Because of you, I cherish every moment I have with the ones I love. Baby girl, I love and I miss you so much. I can't wait to tell Dylan all about his older sister.

Love,
Mommy