As for my parents.. they are doing a lot better! I knew they would get through this but I still had a fear of divorce or separation. I think every child has that fear when their parents have arguments. It's sad that children have that fear but this is how the world works now a days!
I want to thank everyone who has kept my family in your prayers. It really means a lot! It's hard now that Sarah is in Michigan. :( Talking to her on the phone isn't the same as in person. {{I think I just hate talking on the phone}} So this is why I blog! :)
God Bless!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A Women of Character! <-- I want to be!
I have devoted my time between 6am and 8am to bible study. My bible study consists of...
1. watching a sermon at www.newspring.org {{Which by the way the sermons are AWESOME}}
2. Taking my notes and writing the bible verses down.
3. Studying the bible verses
Today I watched week 2 of the series 'Beautiful'. WONDERFUL sermon! I never realized that the way I talk to my husband and about my husband has really effected our relationship. Pastor Perry spoke about 'The words we speak are a reflection of our hearts.' It's so true. I am constantly using my words to tear Michael down instead of bring him up.
WORDS!!!
Proverbs 12:4
"Agood wife is like a crown for her husband but a disgraceful wife is like a disease in his bones."
Proverbs 26:20
"Without wood, a fire will go out, and without gossip, quarreling with stop." <-- This verse really made me realize that everytime I speak negatively about Michael, it keeps my negative feeling alive. That is why forgiveness is the only way to settle disputes.
INTENTIONS!!!
"It doesn't always have to be about you!" Very hard quote for me to grasp. :(
Proverbs 5:18-19
"Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She gives you joy, as your fountain give you water. She is lovely and graceful as a deer. Let her love always and make you happy; let her love always hold you captive."
FORGIVENESS!!
Forgive and forget! Satan brings up old bad memories to make you hate or to harm your relationship with you husband or wife. I know, Satan hates marriage and he will do everything in his power to kill, steal, and destroy.
Colossians 3:13
"Bear with each other, and forgive eah other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because God forgave you."
EXPECTATIONS!!!
How can you pray over all your husband's faults and sins when you haven't and wont even pray for your own?!
Proverbs 19:13
"A foolish child brings disaster to a father, and a quarreling wife is like dripping water."
Proverbs 21:9
"It is better tolive in a corner on the roof than inside the house with a quarreling wife."
Proverbs 21:19
"It is better to live alone in the desert than with a quarreling and complaining wife."
WOW! I never realized how bad it really is to live with someone like that! All I know is I don't want to be that kind of wife. I want to be a Wife of Character. I want my beauty to show not only from the outside but inside as well.
1. watching a sermon at www.newspring.org {{Which by the way the sermons are AWESOME}}
2. Taking my notes and writing the bible verses down.
3. Studying the bible verses
Today I watched week 2 of the series 'Beautiful'. WONDERFUL sermon! I never realized that the way I talk to my husband and about my husband has really effected our relationship. Pastor Perry spoke about 'The words we speak are a reflection of our hearts.' It's so true. I am constantly using my words to tear Michael down instead of bring him up.
WORDS!!!
Proverbs 12:4
"Agood wife is like a crown for her husband but a disgraceful wife is like a disease in his bones."
Proverbs 26:20
"Without wood, a fire will go out, and without gossip, quarreling with stop." <-- This verse really made me realize that everytime I speak negatively about Michael, it keeps my negative feeling alive. That is why forgiveness is the only way to settle disputes.
INTENTIONS!!!
"It doesn't always have to be about you!" Very hard quote for me to grasp. :(
Proverbs 5:18-19
"Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She gives you joy, as your fountain give you water. She is lovely and graceful as a deer. Let her love always and make you happy; let her love always hold you captive."
FORGIVENESS!!
Forgive and forget! Satan brings up old bad memories to make you hate or to harm your relationship with you husband or wife. I know, Satan hates marriage and he will do everything in his power to kill, steal, and destroy.
Colossians 3:13
"Bear with each other, and forgive eah other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because God forgave you."
EXPECTATIONS!!!
How can you pray over all your husband's faults and sins when you haven't and wont even pray for your own?!
Proverbs 19:13
"A foolish child brings disaster to a father, and a quarreling wife is like dripping water."
Proverbs 21:9
"It is better tolive in a corner on the roof than inside the house with a quarreling wife."
Proverbs 21:19
"It is better to live alone in the desert than with a quarreling and complaining wife."
WOW! I never realized how bad it really is to live with someone like that! All I know is I don't want to be that kind of wife. I want to be a Wife of Character. I want my beauty to show not only from the outside but inside as well.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Finding Light
Finding Light
By: Elizabeth Knox
“Loss leaves us empty- but learn not to close your heart and mind in grief. Allow life to replenish you. When sorrow comes, it seems impossible- but new joys wait to fill the void.” -Pat Brown I believe that everything happens for a reason. Before the death of my daughter, I believed that nothing bad or tragic, would or could ever happen to me. Never again will I ever think that. Death, grief, tragedy, and despair are happening to people everyday, we need to find the spiritual reason to see the light through the long dark tunnel.
In the beginning, my grief started months before the death of my daughter. After many ultrasounds and Specialist visits, I was told that my daughter, Lilly, had a rare chromosome disorder called Trisomy 18. The Specialist explained that Lilly was incompatible for life and that she would be born too early or that she would be stillborn. For months, even though my heart was hurt and my eyes were filled with tears, I cherished every little kick with great comfort in knowing that she was alive. It was almost like her little way of telling me “Mommy, don’t cry! I’m still here!”. I would pray every night, “Lord, I don’t know your plan for Lilly’s life but I pray that me and my family will be able to hold her alive and that she will be born to term”. I put all my faith in God, that my prayers would be answered.
In six hours I had the best day of my life with the birth of my daughter and I also had the worst day of my life with the death of my daughter. On October 26, 2007 at 10:40 pm, my daughter Lilly was born to term and alive. Looking in Lilly’s eyes, I felt how much she loved me and how much I loved her. After giving birth, the instant connection and love between a mother and her baby is so strong, so true, and so pure. To have that love taken from you is devastating. Lilly passed away on October 27, 2007 at 4:40am. The grief that I felt after losing Lilly was so overwhelming that I was blinded by devastation. I felt so angry, betrayed, as though my world had completely been ripped apart. All the dreams and the things I wanted to do with my daughter, like braid her hair, comfort her and hold her when she didn’t feel good, give her kisses and pray with her before she went to sleep, were ripped away from me like they had no meaning. My daughter’s death made me realize so many things and it completely changed my prospective on life and death.
“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.” -Anon How precious life is when its cut short and how precious time is when there isn’t enough. Through my experience I have found and been blessed with a great ministry to speak to others. A ministry that has helped others find their way through their very tough and tragic experience. Believing now that life is what you make it, I live my life treating others like they have just been through my experience, cherishing every moment with the people that are still with me, and handing every situation that comes in my life to God. I believe also that death is what you make it. Death, no matter how tragic, is beautiful and the beginning of life, life with no more death or destruction.
Through the tragedy of losing my daughter, I have found new life. A life filled with love and care for the loved ones still here with me, treating other’s lives as precious as my own, and cherishing every moment as if it could be the last. This prospective has helped me on my journey of grief in finding the light.
By: Elizabeth Knox
“Loss leaves us empty- but learn not to close your heart and mind in grief. Allow life to replenish you. When sorrow comes, it seems impossible- but new joys wait to fill the void.” -Pat Brown I believe that everything happens for a reason. Before the death of my daughter, I believed that nothing bad or tragic, would or could ever happen to me. Never again will I ever think that. Death, grief, tragedy, and despair are happening to people everyday, we need to find the spiritual reason to see the light through the long dark tunnel.
In the beginning, my grief started months before the death of my daughter. After many ultrasounds and Specialist visits, I was told that my daughter, Lilly, had a rare chromosome disorder called Trisomy 18. The Specialist explained that Lilly was incompatible for life and that she would be born too early or that she would be stillborn. For months, even though my heart was hurt and my eyes were filled with tears, I cherished every little kick with great comfort in knowing that she was alive. It was almost like her little way of telling me “Mommy, don’t cry! I’m still here!”. I would pray every night, “Lord, I don’t know your plan for Lilly’s life but I pray that me and my family will be able to hold her alive and that she will be born to term”. I put all my faith in God, that my prayers would be answered.
In six hours I had the best day of my life with the birth of my daughter and I also had the worst day of my life with the death of my daughter. On October 26, 2007 at 10:40 pm, my daughter Lilly was born to term and alive. Looking in Lilly’s eyes, I felt how much she loved me and how much I loved her. After giving birth, the instant connection and love between a mother and her baby is so strong, so true, and so pure. To have that love taken from you is devastating. Lilly passed away on October 27, 2007 at 4:40am. The grief that I felt after losing Lilly was so overwhelming that I was blinded by devastation. I felt so angry, betrayed, as though my world had completely been ripped apart. All the dreams and the things I wanted to do with my daughter, like braid her hair, comfort her and hold her when she didn’t feel good, give her kisses and pray with her before she went to sleep, were ripped away from me like they had no meaning. My daughter’s death made me realize so many things and it completely changed my prospective on life and death.
“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.” -Anon How precious life is when its cut short and how precious time is when there isn’t enough. Through my experience I have found and been blessed with a great ministry to speak to others. A ministry that has helped others find their way through their very tough and tragic experience. Believing now that life is what you make it, I live my life treating others like they have just been through my experience, cherishing every moment with the people that are still with me, and handing every situation that comes in my life to God. I believe also that death is what you make it. Death, no matter how tragic, is beautiful and the beginning of life, life with no more death or destruction.
Through the tragedy of losing my daughter, I have found new life. A life filled with love and care for the loved ones still here with me, treating other’s lives as precious as my own, and cherishing every moment as if it could be the last. This prospective has helped me on my journey of grief in finding the light.
*{{Snow Day}}*
Living in Washington, you get excited when the weather calls for snow. Michael and I desided to go grocery shopping friday morning. Lets just say Wal-Mart was PACKED with people getting ready for the snow. It makes me laugh! Michael was getting frustrated with all the people around but I just smiled at everyone.. I was quite amused. The snow started falling around 9 o'clock and didn't stop until 8ish this morning. Michael had to work last night and thank God he made it home safely. Usually when I worry I tend to clean or cook. So needless to say, Michael got a hot breakfast this morning. :)
I took Dylan outside and we took a picture of the house and walked around a bit before going back inside, to stay the rest of the day. Here are a few pictures we took...
This is Dylan, bundled up and ready to go outside!
This is our home!
I took Dylan outside and we took a picture of the house and walked around a bit before going back inside, to stay the rest of the day. Here are a few pictures we took...
This is Dylan, bundled up and ready to go outside!
This is our home!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Is there HOPE?!
I just sent a message to my friend... it read... 'Tassels is closed and I don't know how much longer my parents are going to be together'. The sadest message I think I've sent someone. In this situation I see Satan working...
My father isn't a people person. He works so hard and comes home to his recliner, laptop, and dog. He separates himself. I remember growing up, my father would come home and we would all rush to the door to greet him and fight over who would be the one to take off his boots. His boots smelled like saw dust, which now is one of my favorite smells.. its a smell that brings me comfort. He and my mother raised us to love the Lord.
My father's 50th birthday was yesterday. My mother had wanted to take him out to eat and it ended up being her and my sisters going. After getting home, my father basically broke it off with my mother... saying, 'He would never be able to be the man he once was.'.. the man she married.
My father has had a lot of hurts in his life. He always feels like he has to be a protector and keep every situation under control. After my sister, Kristen, decided to choose living her life worldly, after Lilly passed away, after my sister, Katherine started having seizures, and after Kenneth Copeland says,'When someone dies, its because you didn't have enough faith.'.. my father has turned to drinking to cover all his hurts. With this has opened the door in his heart for Satan to enter. This is why I stress surrendering. Surrendering all your hurts to God will help to heal your heart. The Lord doesn't want us to deal with hurts on our own.
My mother goes to church every sunday without my father by her side. My mother and father NEVER go out to eat or do anything together. It hurts me to see my mom upset or unhappy. I'm 25 years old and the thought of my parents getting a divorce hurts SO bad. I don't care how old a child is, it hurts to have your parents separate. I know that if my parents were to get a divorce they wouldn't get married again.
All my life my father has taught me to turn to God for help...
Lord, I'm pleading for your help and your strength. I know you love my father and I pray, Lord, he will surrender all the hurts he is feeling to you. I pray he will also realize You are the only one who will fulfill all the desires of his heart and that alcohol will always be a temporary fix. It has hurt me to see the person who raised me to you, Lord, fall in Satan's trap. Please give me the knowledge to know what to do and strength to get through this trail set before me. I know in this situation, Lord, that my mom will be okay but I pray you will continue to give her your strength and your peace. Amen-
My father isn't a people person. He works so hard and comes home to his recliner, laptop, and dog. He separates himself. I remember growing up, my father would come home and we would all rush to the door to greet him and fight over who would be the one to take off his boots. His boots smelled like saw dust, which now is one of my favorite smells.. its a smell that brings me comfort. He and my mother raised us to love the Lord.
My father's 50th birthday was yesterday. My mother had wanted to take him out to eat and it ended up being her and my sisters going. After getting home, my father basically broke it off with my mother... saying, 'He would never be able to be the man he once was.'.. the man she married.
My father has had a lot of hurts in his life. He always feels like he has to be a protector and keep every situation under control. After my sister, Kristen, decided to choose living her life worldly, after Lilly passed away, after my sister, Katherine started having seizures, and after Kenneth Copeland says,'When someone dies, its because you didn't have enough faith.'.. my father has turned to drinking to cover all his hurts. With this has opened the door in his heart for Satan to enter. This is why I stress surrendering. Surrendering all your hurts to God will help to heal your heart. The Lord doesn't want us to deal with hurts on our own.
My mother goes to church every sunday without my father by her side. My mother and father NEVER go out to eat or do anything together. It hurts me to see my mom upset or unhappy. I'm 25 years old and the thought of my parents getting a divorce hurts SO bad. I don't care how old a child is, it hurts to have your parents separate. I know that if my parents were to get a divorce they wouldn't get married again.
All my life my father has taught me to turn to God for help...
Lord, I'm pleading for your help and your strength. I know you love my father and I pray, Lord, he will surrender all the hurts he is feeling to you. I pray he will also realize You are the only one who will fulfill all the desires of his heart and that alcohol will always be a temporary fix. It has hurt me to see the person who raised me to you, Lord, fall in Satan's trap. Please give me the knowledge to know what to do and strength to get through this trail set before me. I know in this situation, Lord, that my mom will be okay but I pray you will continue to give her your strength and your peace. Amen-
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